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  • Writer's pictureEric R Eidson

Disciple Sips . . .

I began an interesting conversation today about how Jesus would have interacted with our modern world. The discussion quickly turned to laughter as we imagined Jesus and his twelve disciples hanging out in the local coffee shop. Just what would the Master and his followers order?

  • Jesus orders a cup of hot water. Why pay $5 for a cup of coffee? Just turn the water into coffee – better coffee than anything that has been served before!

  • The brothers James and John are drinking half-whole milk, one quarter 1%, one quarter non-fat, extra hot, split quad shots (1 1/2 shots decaf, 2 1/2 shots regular), no foam latte, with whip, 2 packets of Splenda, 1 sugar in the raw, a touch of vanilla syrup and 3 short sprinkles of cinnamon. They smirk at the coffee plebes around them.

  • Andrew got a frappe. And he keeps asking why they didn’t go for ice cream instead.

  • Matthew grabbed a plain black coffee to go. He still expects the bottom to fall out of the coffee shop business.

  • Philip drinks a latte while telling everyone around him how great it is.

  • Bartholomew ordered a single origin Sumatra. Because nothing good comes from blended coffees.

  • Thomas asked questions about everything on the menu and demanded samples before finally ordering a cup of hot water and a tea bag.

  • James the Lesser never ordered anything. He just made sure chairs were arranged so everyone had a place to sit. And nobody but Jesus thanked him for it either.

  • Simon the Zealot is on his second triple espresso. He’s too amped up to sit in the chair James the Lesser saved for him.

  • Thaddeus asked James and John to order his drink for him. They look at each other, nod in unison, and order him a mocha with extra whipped cream.

  • Judas went across the street and ordered a coffee from McDonald’s. He brought it back and sat in the coffee shop with all the other disciples though.

  • Peter ordered an iced coffee even though it is only 37 degrees outside. He chews the ice and makes the straw squeak at random moments. It irritates everyone.

There you have it. I think it would make a great sitcom about a bunch of young people hanging out in a coffee shop all day . . .

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