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  • Writer's pictureEric R Eidson

Postal Workers and Werewolves

In 2001, a series of anthrax attacks perpetrated through the mail rocked the United States.  The FBI spent years investigating the attacks that led to the deaths of five people.  The investigation was finally closed in 2010 amidst doubts regarding the FBI's conclusions.  

While the attacks and deaths themselves are not funny, some of the responses and reactions to the threats posed by sending anthrax through the mail were quite humorous.  Fear makes us do strange things.  The United States Postal Service created a list of protocols for responding to suspicious packages and possible anthrax contamination.  The document was probably necessary, and the subject was serious, but the language of the protocols seemed, at times, to border on keystone cops comedy.

In 2004 I wrote a humorous version of the protocols, dealing with a less well-known, but still grave, threat to the health and well-being of our brave mail carriers.  Here I present to the public for the first time . . . Official Protocol for Dealing with Suspected Werewolves . . .

Visit the BOOKS page to download a copy of the protocol.

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